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Grief Like An Ocean Wave 

Hi All,

Someone I care for has dementia. My mom, who I recently had a conversation with, switched from speaking directly to me to speaking about me in the third-person. All of the sudden, I wasn’t there. She was speaking to someone else. In that split second, I experienced grief. The grief was like an ocean wave. It rose up, bowled me over, completely engulfed me and tossed me around like a loose piece of seaweed. I felt incredibly lucky because within a few moments, my mom’s brain shifted and I was again recognized by her. The wave of grief subsided and I came back to myself in awe of its power and that it came on so dang fast. It was the same grief feelings I had when my dad died. And may I reiterate the detail that my mom didn’t die, she only forgot me for a few moments. I don’t know what to make of that. I’m curious if the feelings of grief from being forgotten have been experienced by others. This event has reminded me of what I’ll be experiencing in the future in regards to my mom. Logically, I understand that my mom will die or may not remember who I am at some point (again) and I expect it. But emotionally, well, that’s a different story. I’m not looking forward to it, not at all. Yet I’m also okay with it. I have the Grief Recovery Method tool that will keep me present and in connection with what comes up. I’m reminded of a testimonial that I received that I have on my website about having this tool (for this newsletter, I initially planned to paraphrase this testimonial as to not put anyone on the spot, yet these words warm my heart as they are):

“The healing from this work is profound and exponential. There is still an ache for Maddie, my Maltipoo, BUT I can face it without fear and now I have tools to work through the tough moments. I am so grateful for you, Tanya, and for this process. I appreciate our sessions and miss your kindness and generosity. You create such an open, calm space.” -- ELIZABETH PARKS, M.A., MFA, Visiting Professor of Acting

That says it perfectly. Thank you Elizabeth.

Kindest regards, Tanya